Archive | June 2015

The Green Eyed Monster on Father’s Day

Yesterday was Father’s Day. I wanted to have some sort of celebration. Jay had other plans.

Early morning, I greeted him Happy Father’s Day. There was no response. Not even a “thank you.” I remembered how it was during Mother’s Day, he spent it in a league game. So, maybe that’s just how he is. Not showy.

Then I asked him if we could buy a cake for his Father. He said he would rather get some pizza. I said, well yeah, okay, pizza. Then he asked me to call the pizza delivery. I was getting pissed and I can already feel my head throbbing in frustration. I.DON’T.WANT.PIZZA.

Late in the afternoon, we went to the supermarket to buy our weekly meals. He got frustrated, he lost his money. In his frustration, he snapped at me. My resentment started to grow.

And just when I thought we are going to bed, I noticed him getting dressed. He said he’s going out with some friends of his. I knew that he’ll drink and probably smoke a stick or two. I’m starting to get angry. He had just finished his medication and the throat specialist strongly recommended quitting on alcohol and smoke. But i am not in any mood to argue. And besides, I feel like I don’t have the strength for an argument. So i let him leave.

And yet, I wasn’t able to sleep. I feel angry, frustrated and humiliated. What kind of husband would rather spend Father’s Day with his friends than with his wife and kid. He didn’t want to go out with us yet he stayed out late with his friends. My head was throbbing and I’m starting to feel shaky – out of anger and resentment.

I wanted to shout at him, lash out at him, anything just to make him feel the same way that he did to me. But I ended up praying. And God led me to Ephesians 6:24 Grace be with all those who love our Lord Jesus Christ with incorruptible love.

As humans, we are always vulnerable to worldly emotions. But as married couple, we must strive to work on our differences. As our vows say “through thick and thin, in good and bad”.

Plenty of Reasons Why I love You

The Book of Matthew wonderfully stated,where your heart is, there your treasures will be. 

You and I had been married for nine wonderful months already. We are almost old but we are everything but old when it comes to relationship and parenting. This week, I am reflecting on how God is moving in our life as a couple and as parents to our Babaching.

As I look back on our time together as sweetheart and later as parents, I can’t help but feel in awe, blessed and thankful for God’s work in our life.

You are far from perfect as a husband as a father. But, I am learning to love every bit of you, including our differences. For I know that it’s part of the man I love.

To my ex-boyfriend, best friend and constant critic, number one fan and supporter, the man who sees the beautiful in me despite the fact that I just went through twelve hours of labor and delivery, even if my hair is a mess from Babaching’s constant pulling, to the man who believes that I can do things that I don’t even think I could, here are some of the reasons why I thank God for bringing me to you:

1. You push me to be better everyday. There are plenty of times when I said I’ve reached my maximum. That I’ve reached the end. But you will only smile and say “Hindi pa. More pa love. Kaya mo yan.”

2. You don’t hesitate to point out I’m wrong when I am. For this, I am overly grateful. There are times when I am so adamant for things to happen according to my standard. And if my standards fail, I ended up feeling frustrated. In which, you would say “Hindi kasi nakikinig. Next time, listen. You are not always right, you know. ”

3. You have a generous and giving heart. You may accept this fact or not. But you are. The way you share your blessings to me, to our family and to the people we know is a testament to that. You wouldn’t hesitate giving a helping hand when you know it is necessary.

4. You are honest. That sometimes it hurt. But that makes me love you and respect you more. When my “mothering” Babaching seems over-acting, you would not hesitate pointing it out.

5. You taught me to let go. You helped me realized that I should not always be in control. That there are things/people/circumstances better left alone and unsaid.

This list could go on and on, love. But my main point is that I love you. Every night, as we pray, I never fail to thank God for bringing me to you, for giving me an amazing partner and I will continue to praise Him because of you.

My wallet is almost empty, my bank account is almost zero but my heart is full of love from you and for you.

Dismantling the Walls

Devotion : Ephesians 2:14

How many of us are trapped in walls that are slowly destroying our relationship?

The book of Ephesians Chapter 2 Verse 14 promises “He himself is our peace, who made both groups into one and broke down the barrier of dividing wall.”

Many of us have created barriers in our life. Barriers firmly established with selfishness, greed, apathy, pride and hate. We put up strong walls nailed together by hateful silence, distance, unresolved issues,misunderstanding, annoyance and ridicule.

But as chosen sons and daughters of Christ, we are bound to have a heart like Jesus Christ. Look back on how He came to destroy the line between Jews and Gentiles. Let us follow His lead. Let us hammer with forgiveness, and wrecker with honour, grace and repentance.

Far too many marriages had failed because of the “nails” I have mentioned above. Jay and I struggled with communication, too. Many times that I have felt hurt but I didn’t told him. Instead, I put up my wall of silence and silently seethe in anger. While he has completely no idea what I was fuming about. There were also times that he put up his wall of annoyance. I have the tendency to be forgetful and emotional, and he didn’t like it. 

Our marriage is young, we do not have the accolades of experience, but we are slowly learning. We are now cognizant of the fact that we need to be constantly communicating.

The secret to our simple but happy union-our pursuit to be Christ-like in our living, seeking His guidance and blessing in all things.

We have learned to tear down our walls and open the door of our hearts to God and his lessons.

My partner in pursuing a Christ-centered family and a godly child.

My partner in pursuing a Christ-centered family and a godly child.

Love Your Marriage

Meet the most loving husband one can have.

Meet the most loving husband one can have.

“For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow”

Nine months since the day I got married. For the short time that we are together, Jay had opened my eyes to a lot of things. Ours is not a perfect marriage nor ideal. But it is a happy, blessed union of two different individuals sharing the same dreams, values and aspirations in life. 

There had been instances when our temper and emotion got the upper hand. Several times, I felt like I was on the edge of just packing my bags, grab our baby and go. And I know, even if he didn’t say it, that there were times when Jay was at his end of the rope too.

But we always end up praying. Praying and remembering our vows to stay together through thick and thin, in the promise that God has given us. That His love for us will endure our human weaknesses. 

I have learned that for marriage to work, you simply don’t just love your family, your husband, your children. You should also love your marriage. You always remember your vows and why you decided to get married. Loving your marriage includes putting enough time for you and your partner to grow together and individually, giving quality time to your children and remembering that no matter how rich you are, your greatest wealth is having your partner and your children.

Our small and happy family

Loving your marriage means that you will not allow yourself to sin, to indulge in callings of the flesh and allure of gambling.

Loving your marriage means honouring your vows, remembering it and living it.

Little Snuggie Baby Wraps ( Review for Puple Rainbow)

I am addicted to anything purple. It symbolizes my advocacies and ideologies in life. It is the color of the reproductive health campaign, of women empowerment and my personal comfort color. My family knows I faint inside every time I see something purple. (as of writing time, the purple stuff in my table are – tumbler, stapler, pencil holder and wait, my nail polish).

When I found out about babywearing, I made it a point to purchase only those that would represent everything that I believe in. So I stalked almost all local and international wraps and sling producers/manufacturers/sellers but I didn’t find anything that has the “buy me” factor.

Until I stumbled upon Little Snuggie Baby (LSB). LSB is a local seller of handwoven wraps. I messaged the proprietress, Ms. Justine Rae So and inquired if their purple rainbow wrap is still available. That time, it wasn’t but she offered me Blue Rainbow. I was caught off-guard by its beauty that I purchased one. ( Review will be in a different post). And I requested the very nice Ms. Justine to give me a heads-up whenever the purple one becomes available.

My first Purple Rainbow was a size four(4). It is made of 90% cotton and 10% polyester. Its soft already when it arrived and after breaking it in (washing, ironing, braiding, using it as Babaching’s blanket) it became softer and more grippy. I love it and it was the wrap that taught me how to do hip carries and rebozo. All in all, it was a good wrap but we have to let it go to share the babywearing love to another momma.

Another Purple Rainbow (and definitely a permastash) is our size 6. With this wrap, I can do front wrap cross carry, front cross carry and kangaroo carry with fancy tails. It’s still made of 90% cotton and 10% polyester. This wrap is our go-to wrap. Though we do have a SSC, we use it only when Babaching is in his “straight legs” mode and wrapping is not in his world (which happens very rarely). Our purple rainbow had been a silent witness to plenty of fussiness during post-vaccination, long,quiet walks at the park during dawn and dusk. It had provided comfort and assurance to our Babaching that we are not letting him go when we go to the mall and there are plenty of people. It kept him close to my heart, where he find solitude and solace when the environment gets too loud and stressful.

Carry all the babies and happy baby wearing!

Little Frog Aquamarine Woven Wrap (Review)

I won the Little Frog Woven Wrap (size 4.6m) in a raffle hosted by another baby wearing mommy. I cannot afford to buy another wrap and as my hubby says “function over fashion” is the principle of our family. Prior to having the LF Aquamarine, we already have one (1) Tula Standard Lil Rascals, three (3) woven wraps from a local retailer and a stretchy wrap.

So, here’s my brief and un-biased review of the wrap.

1. The wrap is 100% cotton, non-stretchy and machine woven. It is our first international woven wrap. When compared to products of our local sellers, it is softer right out of the bag, more cushy and easy to grip. It also seems more breathable as my Babaching sweats lesser compared  when we use our other wraps.

2. It seems like the sleeping dust fairy forget to pour in her sleeping dust in our wrap. It usually takes Babaching a few minutes (5-10 minutes) in the wrap and he’s off to la-la-la land. But in our Aquamarine, he’s already thirty (30) minutes but still wide awake. (could be that he’s enjoying the wrap the same way I am)

3. I love the fact that it came with an instructional manual. The manual contains several carry demonstrations and a guide on how to take care of the wrap.

Overall, the wrap is excellent. However, let this post be a reminder to all baby wearers out there – let us be frugal and practical in our spending in baby wearing. As my husband aptly puts it “Is that a need or simply a want? Necessary or accessory?”

Happy baby wearing everyone!