During my pregnancy, I was already determined that I will breastfeed our baby. I thought it would be easy. Oh dear, was I wrong!
Our bundle of joy was born via normal delivery at 09:00 a.m. of December 13, 2014 after almost fourteen hours of labor. I was asleep after giving birth. (We all know how tiring giving birth can be. It felt like all of my bones was falling apart). Two hours after giving birth and still feeling dazed, I overheard my husband arguing with one of the nurse.
“Sige na po Sir, kelangan niyo na bumili ng milk kasi nagugutom na yung baby niyo.” (Sir please, you need to buy milk, your baby is getting hungry.”)
“Ay naku Ma’am, hindi po puwede kasi bilin ng asawa ko, breastfeed daw dapat si baby namin. Magagalit po yan.” (No ma’am, my wife wants to breastfeed our baby. She might get angry.)
“Ei tulog pa siya Sir er.” (But she’s still asleep Sir.)
“Pakigising na lang siya.” (Please wake her up.)
So the nurse went to me and wake me up. When I held our baby for the first time to latch, I got weaker. He was so tiny and fragile. He was a mere 2.4lbs baby, a liter of bottled water is bigger than him. Then he latched. And it was the most wonderful feeling of all.
And it was the start of a very wonderful journey.
Breastfeeding opened my eyes and my heart to the beautiful things that comes with motherhood.
It taught me to be selfless. During the start of our breastfeeding journey, I had to admit, there were times that I just want to get a decent sleep,bath or a trip to the bathroom. But I cannot. Because he wants to latch. Because he needs the familiarity and warmth that only a mother can provide. So I’ve learned to set aside my personal needs versus his. I’ve learned that my life is not just about me anymore. That I now have this wonderful, handsome being that needs me. Both me and my husband have learned that quality time is not just about the two of us – the most quality time is time spent together with our baby. Each time our little one latches, my husband would immediately arrange our pillows to ensure that we are in the most comfortable position. We both know now that our decisions will affect not only us but this little boy who is God’s gift to us.
Breastfeeding gave me the best lesson in priority-setting. My work demands that I travel most of the time. Across the country, to areas that others found to be risky and dangerous. During my single stage, I can hardly be seen in the office. I am always on the go. I will only be in the office for quick meetings then I’ll be on the go. I will only be home on weekends and then I’m off again. But since our little squish came, I have learned to politely say “No” and “Not Now” to travel requests. I used to leave the office at 07:00 pm or even later, but now, the moment the clock hit 05:00 p.m., I’m off to home. I sometimes even feel guilty for not being able to let him latch directly and for not being there for him all the time.
It also taught me endurance and patience. To physically endure the pain that comes with “improper latching” and teething tantrums. Sleepiness during night feeding is also something to fight. And it ain’t easy. There had been several instances when I almost fall asleep while feeding our squish. It took some time but my body adjusted eventually. Now, it seems like my boobs are wired to his mouth when it comes to his feeding schedule. It seems they have a language of their own. Breastfeeding had taught me to be patient. There were times when he gets too fussy and even if he’s already latched on, he would still fuss. I’ve learned that it can be remedied by changing positions or letting him burped.
We are now five months and a half in our breastfeeding journey and I know that we still have a lot to learn. It is not without struggles but it will be in an entirely different post. :=)
And oh, the squish is now more than 7 kilos! Hooray!