Motherhood, and parenting in general is not a walk in happy lane.
I am a first time mom, and sometimes it gets too overwhelming that I felt like I’m drowning. But, there are no regrets.
One of the things I love about being a mom is the opportunity to feed my baby directly through breastfeeding. Prior to giving birth, I had my mind set that I will breastfeed. During that time, it was more of economical reasons rather than emotional and psychological. I believed that breastfeeding our baby would help us cut down the expenses. Indeed, in that point I am right.
What I was not prepared for was the circumstances that comes with exclusive breastfeeding. Our baby, as my husband would put it, is a “milk monster”. It’s because he seems to never get enough of breastmilk. He’ll fall asleep sucking his milk and would demand to be feed immediately when he wakes up. For more than a month now, I had experienced disrupted sleep at night because, well, you can never determine the time he start his feeding cues. I am also dealing with wet shirt fronts because my milk leaks (and I’m very thankful for that because it means I have more than enough milk).
But the toughest part of our breastfeeding journey so far, is engorged breasts and sore nipples. Since my maternity break is over, I had to pumped at work. But given the fast-paced nature of my work, I cannot comply with the every 2-3 hours pumping session. Sometimes, it would take me half a day before I have the time to pumped. Which, of course, means that I have breast as heavy and as hard as rocks. It’s not easy nor ideal, but I just want to make sure that our baby drinks my milk ONLY.
As to sore nipples, recently our baby had developed the habit of still latching even when he’s asleep (making my breasts his human pacifier). He would sleep for up to almost two hours but every time I would try to take away my breasts, he’ll cry like he’s really, really, really hurt. The Ending : me with painful arms and sore nipples.
So, am i going to quit breastfeeding? Definitely, NO. Our child deserves all the right and best things in the world. And the best milk for him will be my milk.
Breastfeeding is not an easy journey to take, but we will journey in this together, as a family.