Archive | May 2013







safe” – © 2007 Paul Keller – made available under Attribution 2.0 Generic

We all have something that we keep to ourselves. Unspoken fears, desires and stories. Things that we prefer to bear in silence, locking it inside of us,afraid that we will be judged or laughed at.

We feel unsafe and vulnerable.


Skirts, Stilettos and Prejudice

I love wearing dresses, skirts, shorts and blouses. Sometimes it’s frilly, or lace or flower.

I hate dealing with people who think that they can judge my character because of my clothes. Honestly, wearing my lace dress doesn’t give anyone the right to assume that I am helpless. And oh, just because my skirt’s hemline is above my knees doesn’t give anyone the right to assume that I want to be raped. Or that I am flirting. Or that I want to be “hit” on. 

I am a free individual. Beyond my capacity to wear dresses and skirts, I also have a brain that I use 90% of the time and serves me better than the rest of my body. Not that I am complaining with my body parts. It’s the fact that people sometimes got stuck on the body parts and failed to recognize my other, much better part – my skills and my intelligence.

I hate the fact that when I go to work, people would more often praise my clothes than my output. It sucks that even these government employees, expected to perform everything with gender sensitivity has the unfortunate skill of saying the most gender insensitive statement.

Honestly, if I have to endure one more sexist comment on my skirt, I’ll be putting these stilettos into good use. Carpe diem!  


Too Young to Go

Three years ago, I lost a friend.

His death -like all death- was painful. In some ways, it was unexpected. He was just in his twenties. Fresh out of college and more than ready to face the world. He is a big guy, and I always like the fact that when we hang out, I can hide behind his back and our other friends can’t guess where I am. He was a jolly man and he was a happy crazy friend. Everybody in our batch loved him, there’s no denying that.

We had a somehow special bond since he’s my big sister’s boyfriend. I’ve watched them begun as friends then somewhere along that time, fall in love with each other. From a distance, I witnessed how their love grew and how they held hands to survive the rocky parts of their relationship. I respected him – as a person, as a friend, as a part of the family. 

And then one day, I woke up with text messages from almost all my friends and the multitude of Facebook status asking to pray for him. Since I’m already here in the city, I have very vague idea of what happened. I tried calling my big sister but she failed to answer the phone.

And then the confirmation happened. I received one text from big sister. “He’s gone.” And I felt raw pain hit me on my chest. Questions of why, how and the denial came. But the Facebook posts wishing him eternal rest and happiness is like salt being rubbed on fresh wound.

He was too young to go. He was full of life. He’s like Jack Frost, always fun, happy and bubbly. When we lost him, we didn’t just lost a friend – we lost a brother, a part of us. 

It took me three years before I can write about his death. At times, I wonder why did God took him so early. I bet I’ll never know the answer. 

But in his demise, he taught me one more valuable lesson – learning to live again after a part of you is lost.


Let us take care of the environment so that the following generation can still enjoy what we are enjoying now.

Of River Flows and Life’s Tides

May 4, 2013

We woke up early for a brand new adventure. 🙂 The camp staff will be having a thanksgiving fellowship in Dupinga River, Nueva Ecija. 

I love the outdoors, hence, I was really looking forward to the trip. Once again, I was in awe of how majestic the Lord’s work are. Truly, looking at the beauty of the river nestled between mountains was simply amazing. And, being in bodies of water and mountain has this certain calming effect on my mind.


As I swam on the cold water, I let my thoughts flow. And let go of all the things I have been holding on. And made the resolution to be happy and optimistic. To take life one day at a time, making tiny steps towards standing on my own, yet enjoying every step of the way.

I felt the flow of the river slowly changed from smooth to  stronger and so is the current and I felt like I’m being carried away. And for once in my life, I let the current carry me to where it wanted to bring me. I simply closed and my eyes and let everything flow.

Perhaps, this is what we also need in our relationship with the Lord. We should allow Him to be in control of our lives, be it when the tides are high or low, when the current is smooth and strong. Because He is a good captain, He has the best sails and anchors, and He will bring us to the best destination we can ever be.

For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11

And as the water keeps flowing and the tide changes from time to time, I will remain steadfast in my faith, loyal to my relationship with the Lord because I know that regardless of all of these things, His love and mercy endures forever.






always the explorer 🙂


Perfect for Someone






Romans 8:28 ” All things work together for good.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1 ” everything and every season has a perfect time under heaven.”

This is the end of our journey together.