Because I Have To

How can you forgive him?

This is the constant and consistent question that I have to answer every time people asked about me and my ex boyfriend.

Honestly, at first I can’t. I felt betrayed, fooled and indignant for being cheated upon. I know that almost everyone, at some point in our lives, have been betrayed.

But I realized one thing. I can never move forward and get on with my life if I keep holding on to that grudge. I knew that I have to forgive.

It was a long and painful process and it was not easy either. At times, I feel like it feels so good to be angry at him than just forgive him. Yet I knew that doing the right thing will be the best decision I can make. And indeed, it was.

I prayed long and hard for God to heal my heart and mind. Again, surrendering everything to Him is not easy. My human nature urges me to take revenge, to fight back, to make him suffer. to humiliate me the same way he did to me.

But God, who is righteous, powerful and omnipotent has forgiven humanity, losing and sacrificing His only Son in the process. And who I am not to follow His example? I am a mere dust,a speck on this vast universe of creation.

So, I lift everything to Him. I gave all of it to him – my shattered dreams and my broken heart. And He restored me- with a new and forgiving heart.

I forgave my ex not because I can but because I have to. For me to start real new beginnings in life. Just like I cannot start writing a new chapter in my book without closing the prior chapter. Every story deserves an ending. A proper closure. One that makes the cycle complete.

We forgive because we were forgiven.

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